December 2011
3 tags
2 tags
2 tags
1 tag
3 tags
4 tags
2 tags
2 tags
1 tag
oh, mom...
My mom: What kind of massage do you want?
Me: I don't care, as long as no one touches my butt.
My mom: Well, I signed you up for a Swedish massage, they put a vacuum in your colon. It's great.
4 tags
1 tag
5 tags
2 tags
1 tag
1 tag
Time was passing like a hand waving from a train I wanted to be on. I hope you...
– Jonathan Safran Foer (via 24ribs)
4 tags
just talking to my dog while i’m alone in my house at night like normal people
1 tag
DUDE
shannonvocal replied to your post: I now remember
It’s actually pronounced NUTS EL AAAAAAAAAAAH! PS, I passed the rooster on my way to your house last night and I saw Nick inside doodling cats or whatever the fuck Nick does alone in his bar at night and I gunned it cause WHAT IF HE SEES ME OH GOD.
I avoid Depot Lane like the FUCKING PLAGUE
2 tags
Anonymous asked: Noodle.
3 tags
4 tags
1 tag
4 tags
I now remember
..why I made sure to be waitressing last Christmas Eve.
It is much more pleasant an atmosphere to be screamed at by a large Bulgarian man than to be ostracized by the layers of passive aggressive, supercilious (are you really going to pronounce ‘Nutella’ with an Italian accent?), roman catholic garbage that wears my last name. Thank God it’s over. Tylenol PM + Love On Top by...
2 tags
1 tag
3 tags
4 tags
No woman wants an abortion as she wants an ice cream cone or a Porsche. She...
– Frederica Mathewes-Green (via moderndayophelia)
3 tags
1 tag
Seduction is about intelligence and wit. Someone who makes me laugh has every...
– Riccardo Tisci. (via ohandregardlessof)
1 tag
1 tag